30
Jan 2023

Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated: The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) was asked about the deed which will be foremost to lead a man to Jannah. He replied, “Fear of Allah and the good conduct.” Then he was asked about indulgence which will admit a man to Hell (Fire) and he answered, “The tongue and the genitals.” Translation of taqwa This translation refers to taqwa of Allah as fear of Him, however, while part of taqwa is fear that does not convey the full meaning of taqwa. I......
Read More
17
Dec 2020

How to identify Mr or Miss Right It can be very complicated trying to find the right person to marry. Even more so if you are idealistic about it. If you are realistic, it is much easier. I can tell you from experience, that many people are too idealistic. I have a friend, who is older than me, yet he is still single because he is still searching for Miss Perfect, not just Miss Right! Everyone says it is his own fault that he has not found anyone. Don’t be picky. Be......
Read More
25
Jul 2019

Understanding the deeper purpose of marriage and entering into it with the right partner Allah Almighty mentioned in Surah Nisa: But if you want to replace one wife with another and you have given one of them a great amount , do not take from it anything. Would you take it in injustice and manifest sin? And how could you take it while you have gone in unto each other and they have taken from you a firm covenant? (4:20-21) The Significance of the Firm Covenant Without going into......
Read More
17
Jul 2019

Love is the fortress for our children And among His signs that He created for you, from among yourselves mates, to dwell with them in tranquility and He put love and mercy among you. In that there are signs for those who reflect. (30:21) We all know this ayah it is recited at every wedding and at walimas and printed on wedding invitations. Tranquility is the core of the home In this ayah, Allah Almighty is addressing a very important issue – sakeena, which is tranquility. The purpose, beyond marriage, is......
Read More
06
Jul 2019

Why husbands and wives need to keep their private lives private It is quite common in our community, among our neighbours, friends, and colleagues to get together and discuss others in gossip sessions. This behaviour is so disgusting and forbidden, that in the Quran, Allah Almighty says: O you who believe! Avoid most suspicion—some suspicion is sinful. And do not spy on one another, nor backbite one another. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would detest it. So remain mindful of God. God......
Read More
27
Jun 2019

Marriage is not a life sentence. Breaking taboos Islam is not an alien religion which puts women under threat or expects them to tolerate abuse or harm. Any abuse is haram. I am not in any way promoting or encouraging divorce, or the break up of families and upheaval of children, but if a marriage is abusive or oppressive, there is no imperative that a woman must stay in that relationship. Clearly, we should encourage reconciliation and counselling, and talaq is the only ever last resort, but there is a big difference......
Read More
05
Mar 2019

Marriage and Intimacy ‘Your women are a tilth for you, so go into your tilth when you like, and do good beforehand for yourselves; and fear Allah, and know that you are to meet Him, and give good news to the believers.’ (2:223) The Essence of Marriage ‘And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.’ (30:21) Allah Almighty Almighty tells......
Read More
05
Mar 2019

A Woman’s Cycle and Intimacy And they ask you about menstruation. Say it is a discomfort; therefore, keep aloof from the women during the menstruation and do not go near them until they have become clean; then when they have cleansed themselves, go in them as Allah has commanded you; surely Allah loves those who purify themselves. (2:222) Your wives are a place of sowing of seed for you, so come to your place of cultivation however you wish and put forth for yourselves. And fear Allah and know that you will......
Read More
05
Mar 2019

The Islamic Law of Ilā’ Those who swear that they will not go in to their wives should wait four months; so if they go back, then Allah is surely Forgiving, Merciful. (226) And if they have resolved on a divorce, then Allah is surely Hearing, Knowing. (227) What is Ila? In the times of jahiliya it was a common practice for Arab men to keep women trapped in dead marriages by taking an oath not to sleep with them forever. Women were left in limbo – not given their conjugal rights but......
Read More
28
Feb 2019

The Divorce 101 There are many misconceptions regarding divorce, particularly in the Indian subcontinent. With TV dramas stringing endless storylines out of these misconceptions, there is much need for clarity on the topic. Divorce should not be the creation of a problem. It should only be a solution. First Divorce could be – Talaq-Raj’i – revocable In Islam, for a husband to divorce his wife he only needs to state ‘I divorce you’ once. After this there is the waiting period, known as iddah (which is three months). Once the iddah is......
Read More
24
Feb 2019

Can Muslims Marry Non-Muslims? ‘Do not marry unbelieving women (idolaters/mushrikaat) until they believe; a slave woman who believes is better than an unbelieving woman even though she allure you. Nor marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe: a man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever even though he allure you. Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the fire. But Allah beckons by His grace to the Garden (of Bliss) and forgiveness and makes His Signs clear to mankind: that they may celebrate His praise.’ (2:221) Deen takes precedence over......
Read More
23
Feb 2019

Good marriages need ‘mawadda’ or love plus more. The word comes from 'wud' meaning deep love. Without this essential component, a marriage is a union in which the partners tolerate each other at best and hate each at worst. You can't live with anyone you hate. If hatred controls a marriage, it creates a generation of hatred. Hearts full of hatred are likely to be trouble makers and criminals. By contrast, where there is love, there is mercy....
Read More
23
Feb 2019

7 Tips for a Successful Marriage Unlike other relationships which we are born into, we make a choice and a commitment in marriage and need to work at it to create love, peace and security. How can a couple improve this within their marriage? Here are 7 tips to improve this sacred relationship. 1. Understanding Roles – Leadership not Dictatorship Men and women are not in competition; they complement and complete each other. They bring differing skills, strengths and qualities to the partnership, which don’t contradict each other. Women may be more......
Read More
11
Jul 2018

Developing good communication between husband and wife Communication problems Many women complain about the lack of communication in their marriage. They have limited or zero communication with their spouse and feel isolated in their four walls. Their husband’s inability to communicate could be a common feature in his family, which he inherited from his parents. It is quite likely, the children of this couple will also inherit this pattern of behaviour. Sadly having no communication in marriage is a common problem. Your spouse is your partner and your support to Jannah, so......
Read More