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Divorce rulings in Islam – Tarawih reflections 9

Divorce rulings in Islam - Tarawih reflections 9
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March 18, 2024
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Limits on divorce

Three pages of Surat al-Baqarah are devoted to the rules of divorce, or talaq. In Jahiliyya times, divorce was very common, but it was misused a lot, because there were no limits. Islam came to set boundaries, hudood.

In Islam, divorce is permissible but it has conditions to prevent it being misused and abused. There are two main principles: first, you can only divorce and remarry the same person three times.

In Jahiliyya, men used to divorce their wives and then take them back, over and over again. This kept their wives under their control, as they couldn’t stay married or marry anyone else. Allah limited this to three talaqs only, in order to institute accountability and responsibility among men, and save women from oppression.

Second is the waiting period, ’iddah. In Jahiliyya there was no waiting period, but in Islam a divorced woman cannot remarry until three months or three menstrual cycles have passed, depending on her situation, or until she gives birth if she’s pregnant.

The first khula

Some of the verses in Surat al-Baqarah are related to the specific context of Thabit bin Qays and his wife Jamila bint Abdullah ibn Ubayy. Jamila was unhappy in the marriage, and went to the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, saying,

‘“O Messenger of Allah! I find no fault with Thabit ibn Qays in his character or religion, but I would hate to act in disobedience to Islam.” The Messenger of Allah said to her: “Will you return to him the garden [that he gave you as a dowry]?” She replied: “Yes.” So Allah’s Messenger said to Thabit: “Accept the garden and divorce her with one pronouncement.”’ [Bukhari]

This was the first khula – the process by which women can ask their husband to divorce them. Unfortunately, in the Muslim world today we have oppression in many Muslim courts, and the system is not very functional. Meanwhile in the West, feminism can swing too far the other way. We need balance.

Divorce should be the solution, not the problem


Divorce should be the last resort solution to resolve a problem. It shouldn’t become a problem in itself.

See how easy Jamila’s case was. She said she was fed up, and the Prophet ﷺ understood her case and gave the chance to free herself. The whole concept of these rulings is about lifting oppression from women due to cultural practices, and putting limits in place.

Allah also mentions the need to remember the good things between divorcing spouses. Often when people get divorced, all sorts of bitterness and anger overtakes them. Be fair and just: do not forget the good things which used to be between you. Don’t listen to Shaytan or fall into his trap.

We ask Allah to enable us to stick to His limits and not overstep the boundaries.

Based on the reflections of Shaykh Haytham Tamim

Transcribed by Hana Khan

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Shaykh Haytham Tamim is the founder and main teacher of the Utrujj Foundation. He has provided a leading vision for Islamic learning in the UK, which has influenced the way Islamic knowledge is disseminated. He has orchestrated the design and delivery of over 200 unique courses since Utrujj started in 2001. His extensive expertise spans over 30 years across the main Islamic jurisprudence schools of thought. He has studied with some of the foremost scholars in their expertise; he holds some of the highest Ijazahs (certificates) in Quran, Hadith (the Prophetic traditions) and Fiqh (Islamic rulings). His own gift for teaching was evident when he gave his first sermon to a large audience at the age of 17 and went on to serve as a senior lecturer of Islamic transactions and comparative jurisprudence at the Islamic University of Beirut (Shariah College). He has continued to teach; travelling around the UK, Europe and wider afield, and won the 2015 BISCA award (British Imams & Scholars Contributions & Achievements Awards) for Outstanding Contribution to Education and Teaching.

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