Can women visit the graveyard?
Can women go to graveyard?
The first time I saw women following the janazah, at a distance and attended the burial, a man told them off and said they were cursed. He was standing over the grave and telling them off, which was not the right time to do it. Presumably he was quoting this hadith:
Allah has cursed women who frequent graves (Ahmed and Tirmidhi and Ibn Maajah)
There are different opinions about this hadith and we should acknowledge our differences.
There is another equally valid narration, in which the Prophet (peace be on him) said:
“I [once] had forbid you from visiting graves, [and I now enjoin] you to do so, so that the visit may serve as a beneficial reminder.” (related by Muslim and others)
and in the version of al-Haakim:
‘ for [such visits] soften the heart, bring tears to the eyes, and serve as a reminder of the Hereafter, [but be careful] not to speak forbidden expressions [i.e. while visiting].’ (Sahih al-Jaami’)
The second hadith abrogated the first one.
Even if we don’t we have two opinions, acknowledge that there is more than one opinion.
There is an etiquette to visiting the cemetery and there should never be shouting and screaming and wailing. This is haram. This was Jahiliya (pre-Islamic) culture, which is why the Prophet (peace be on him) was teaching his ummah to control their emotions. As long as they can behave appropriately and control excessive outpouring of emotions, they can visit the graveyard.
Should you visit graves
Ibn Mas’ud reported that the Messenger of Allah (peace be on him) said:
I prohibited you from visiting graves, but visit them now. Verily, they will weaken your attachment to the world and remind you of the Hereafter. (ibn Majah)
Visiting graveyards remind you of your final destination. They bring you back to the ultimate reality. You still have time become more grateful. Visit hospitals and graves makes us more grateful for our blessings and appreciative of time.
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