Knowing Allah through His Beautiful names: Al Haleem

Knowing Allah through His Beautiful names: Al Haleem

It’s very beautiful to delve into the names of Allah Almighty, His attributes and the sweetness of the meanings. It is even better to translate the understanding of the names into implementing them in our lives as much as possible. The name Al-Haleem is one of the beautiful names of Allah Almighty. It has been repeated in the Quran 11 times in 11 different verses. The English translation of Al-Haleem varies, though the most common translation is The Forbearing.

In Surat al-Baqarah, the name Al-Haleem has been repeated three times, and it appears once in Surat ale-Imran, Surat an-Nisa, Surat al-Maida, Surat al-Isra, Surat al-Hajj, Surat al-Ahzab, Surat Fatir and At-Taghabun.  Many of the names of Allah come in pairs, for instance Ghafoorun Raheem, Samiun Aleem, and similarly, Al-Haleem is appears as Ghafoorun Haleem – Forgiving and Forbearing eight times.

The meaning of Al Haleem

What is the linguistic definition of Al-Haleem? Al-Haleem is closely related to patience, but it goes beyond mere patience. It involves delaying punishment for those who deserve it, providing them with a chance to rectify their ways. This is called ‘hilm’.  Therefore the Haleem is the One who can punish those who deserve punishment, but He instead He delays it, and is not provoked by actions. This is a quality we can reflect in our own actions, and implement and mirror in our life. We see as this name in the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) in different narrations.

In Surat al-Baqarah, Allah Almighty mentioned that He holds you responsible for your intentions and Allah Almighty is forgiving and forbearing.

لَّا يُؤَاخِذُكُمُ ٱللَّهُ بِٱللَّغْوِ فِىٓ أَيْمَـٰنِكُمْ وَلَـٰكِن يُؤَاخِذُكُم بِمَا كَسَبَتْ قُلُوبُكُمْ ۗ وَٱللَّهُ غَفُورٌ حَلِيمٌۭ ٢٢٥

Allah will not hold you accountable for unintentional oaths, but for what you intended in your hearts. And Allah is All-Forgiving, Most Forbearing. [2:225]

The two names – Ghafoor (forgiving) and Haleem (forbearing) are connected to a mistake, a sin, an act which is outside the boundaries which displeases Allah Almighty. Yet He is forgiving and He is forbearing. He gives you some time to reflect on what you have done, time to come back to Him, as sins take you away from Him, and He gives you time to repent.

Ten ayahs later, Allah says:

وَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ فِيمَا عَرَّضْتُم بِهِۦ مِنْ خِطْبَةِ ٱلنِّسَآءِ أَوْ أَكْنَنتُمْ فِىٓ أَنفُسِكُمْ ۚ عَلِمَ ٱللَّهُ أَنَّكُمْ سَتَذْكُرُونَهُنَّ وَلَـٰكِن لَّا تُوَاعِدُوهُنَّ سِرًّا إِلَّآ أَن تَقُولُوا۟ قَوْلًۭا مَّعْرُوفًۭا ۚ وَلَا تَعْزِمُوا۟ عُقْدَةَ ٱلنِّكَاحِ حَتَّىٰ يَبْلُغَ ٱلْكِتَـٰبُ أَجَلَهُۥ ۚ وَٱعْلَمُوٓا۟ أَنَّ ٱللَّهَ يَعْلَمُ مَا فِىٓ أَنفُسِكُمْ فَٱحْذَرُوهُ ۚ وَٱعْلَمُوٓا۟ أَنَّ ٱللَّهَ غَفُورٌ حَلِيمٌۭ ٢٣٥

There is no blame on you for subtly showing interest in ˹divorced or widowed˺ women1 or for hiding ˹the intention˺ in your hearts. Allah knows that you are considering them ˹for marriage˺. But do not make a secret commitment with them—you can only show interest in them appropriately. Do not commit to the bond of marriage until the waiting period expires. Know that Allah is aware of what is in your hearts, so beware of Him. And know that Allah is All-Forgiving, Most Forbearing. [2:235]

Allah Almighty says here ‘you should know that Allah knows what’s in your hearts so be aware of Him and know that Allah is forgiving and forbearing.’ This means Allah Almighty definitely knows what’s in our hearts and what our real intentions are, so we have to be careful not to activate bad intentions into an actions, because we are accountable. The moment you action your bad intention you are accountable. You deserve punishment – it’s up to Allah Almighty to punish you instantly or to show you hilm and give you time to reflect and repent.

In Surat al Baqarah, Allah also says:

قَوْلٌۭ مَّعْرُوفٌۭ وَمَغْفِرَةٌ خَيْرٌۭ مِّن صَدَقَةٍۢ يَتْبَعُهَآ أَذًۭى ۗ وَٱللَّهُ غَنِىٌّ حَلِيمٌۭ ٢٦٣

Kind words and forgiveness are better than charity followed by injury. And Allah is Self-Sufficient, Most Forbearing. [2:263]

He is talking about the how you delivery charity – kind words and forgiveness are better than charity followed by insults. Allah Almighty is rich and forbearing – He is free from all wants and forbearing, so don’t think that your money is benefiting Allah Almighty. It’s you who are benefitting from giving, so be courteous when you give.  Give with kindness; give with good intention, give with good action. Don’t give with arrogance; don’t feel that you are superior, because you are giving and have the upper hand. If you have this intention, then you will ruin your sadaqah. Such an act of of sadaqah will in fact count as a negative action in your book rather than a positive action. Thus Allah Almighty is warning us against us some intentions that may ruin our actions. This is the third mention of Al-Haleem in Surat al-Baqarah.

In Surat Ale Imran, the Quran connects the name Al-Haleem with pardoning:

إِنَّ ٱلَّذِينَ تَوَلَّوْا۟ مِنكُمْ يَوْمَ ٱلْتَقَى ٱلْجَمْعَانِ إِنَّمَا ٱسْتَزَلَّهُمُ ٱلشَّيْطَـٰنُ بِبَعْضِ مَا كَسَبُوا۟ ۖ وَلَقَدْ عَفَا ٱللَّهُ عَنْهُمْ ۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ غَفُورٌ حَلِيمٌۭ ١٥٥

Indeed, those ˹believers˺ who fled on the day when the two armies met were made to slip by Satan because of their misdeeds. But Allah has pardoned them. Surely Allah is All-Forgiving, Most Forbearing. (3:155)

In Surat an-Nisa, Allah has paired His knowledge with forbearance:

۞ وَلَكُمْ نِصْفُ مَا تَرَكَ أَزْوَٰجُكُمْ إِن لَّمْ يَكُن لَّهُنَّ وَلَدٌۭ ۚ فَإِن كَانَ لَهُنَّ وَلَدٌۭ فَلَكُمُ ٱلرُّبُعُ مِمَّا تَرَكْنَ ۚ مِنۢ بَعْدِ وَصِيَّةٍۢ يُوصِينَ بِهَآ أَوْ دَيْنٍۢ ۚ وَلَهُنَّ ٱلرُّبُعُ مِمَّا تَرَكْتُمْ إِن لَّمْ يَكُن لَّكُمْ وَلَدٌۭ ۚ فَإِن كَانَ لَكُمْ وَلَدٌۭ فَلَهُنَّ ٱلثُّمُنُ مِمَّا تَرَكْتُم ۚ مِّنۢ بَعْدِ وَصِيَّةٍۢ تُوصُونَ بِهَآ أَوْ دَيْنٍۢ ۗ وَإِن كَانَ رَجُلٌۭ يُورَثُ كَلَـٰلَةً أَوِ ٱمْرَأَةٌۭ وَلَهُۥٓ أَخٌ أَوْ أُخْتٌۭ فَلِكُلِّ وَٰحِدٍۢ مِّنْهُمَا ٱلسُّدُسُ ۚ فَإِن كَانُوٓا۟ أَكْثَرَ مِن ذَٰلِكَ فَهُمْ شُرَكَآءُ فِى ٱلثُّلُثِ ۚ مِنۢ بَعْدِ وَصِيَّةٍۢ يُوصَىٰ بِهَآ أَوْ دَيْنٍ غَيْرَ مُضَآرٍّۢ ۚ وَصِيَّةًۭ مِّنَ ٱللَّهِ ۗ وَٱللَّهُ عَلِيمٌ حَلِيمٌۭ ١٢

You will inherit half of what your wives leave if they are childless. But if they have children, then ˹your share is˺ one-fourth of the estate—after the fulfilment of bequests and debts. And your wives will inherit one-fourth of what you leave if you are childless. But if you have children, then your wives will receive one-eighth of your estate—after the fulfilment of bequests and debts. And if a man or a woman leaves neither parents nor children but only a brother or a sister ˹from their mother’s side˺, they will each inherit one-sixth, but if they are more than one, they ˹all˺ will share one-third of the estate—after the fulfilment of bequests and debts without harm ˹to the heirs˺. ˹This is˺ a commandment from Allah. And Allah is All-Knowing, Most Forbearing. (4:12)

Depends on the topic, depends on the issue which the ayah is addressing but you can see in all these verses Allah Almighty is talking about forbearance. Whether it’s when we do something wrong, whether it’s related to in this context here it’s related to the will, in the previous context it related to other topics and so on. So depends on the topic, we see that Allah Almighty is showing His forbearance, His hilm.

In Surat al-Maidah, we have the pairing of forgiveness and forbearance in the context of being nosy and asking about things that are not your business.

يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ لَا تَسْـَٔلُوا۟ عَنْ أَشْيَآءَ إِن تُبْدَ لَكُمْ تَسُؤْكُمْ وَإِن تَسْـَٔلُوا۟ عَنْهَا حِينَ يُنَزَّلُ ٱلْقُرْءَانُ تُبْدَ لَكُمْ ۖ عَفَا ٱللَّهُ عَنْهَا ۗ وَٱللَّهُ غَفُورٌ حَلِيمٌۭ

O you who have believed, do not ask about things which, if they are shown to you, will distress you. But if you ask about them while the Quran is being revealed, they will be shown to you. Allah has pardoned that which is past; and Allah is Forgiving and Forbearing. (5:101)

This verse advises believers against inquiring about matters that, if disclosed, might cause them distress. During the time of the Quran’s revelation, questions could lead to additional obligations or restrictions. Today, it is still wise to avoid being overly inquisitive or nosy about matters that do not concern us. This aligns with the hadith of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him):

“Part of being a good Muslim is to leave what does not concern you” (Sunan al-Tirmidhi 2318).

However, even for some acts like this, if you repent, if you ask for forgiveness, Allah Almighty will accept your repentance. 

In Surat al-Isra, Allah Almighty states:

تُسَبِّحُ لَهُ ٱلسَّمَـٰوَٰتُ ٱلسَّبْعُ وَٱلْأَرْضُ وَمَن فِيهِنَّ ۚ وَإِن مِّن شَىْءٍ إِلَّا يُسَبِّحُ بِحَمْدِهِۦ وَلَـٰكِن لَّا تَفْقَهُونَ تَسْبِيحَهُمْ ۗ إِنَّهُۥ كَانَ حَلِيمًا غَفُورًۭا

The seven heavens and the earth and whatever is in them exalt Him. And there is not a thing except that it exalts [Allah] by His praise, but you do not understand their [way of] exalting. Indeed, He is ever Forbearing and Forgiving. (17:44)

 In Surat al-Hajj, Allah Almighty states:

وَلَيُدْخِلَنَّهُمْ مُدْخَلًا يَرْضَوْنَهُ وَإِنَّ اللَّهَ لَعَلِيٌّ حَلِيمٌ

He will surely cause them to enter an entrance with which they will be pleased, and indeed, Allah is Knowing and Forbearing. (Surah Al-Hajj 22:59)

In Surat al-Ahzab, Allah Almighty states:

تُرْجِي مَنْ تَشَاءُ مِنْهُنَّ وَتُؤْوِي إِلَيْكَ مَنْ تَشَاءُ ۖ وَمَنِ ابْتَغَيْتَ مِمَّنْ عَزَلْتَ فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكَ ۚ ذَٰلِكَ أَدْنَىٰ أَنْ تَقَرَّ أَعْيُنُهُنَّ وَلَا يَحْزَنَّ وَيَرْضَيْنَ بِمَا آتَيْتَهُنَّ كُلُّهُنَّ ۚ وَاللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ مَا فِي قُلُوبِكُمْ ۚ وَكَانَ اللَّهُ عَلِيمًا حَلِيمًا

You, [O Muhammad], may put aside whom you will of them or take to yourself whom you will. And any that you desire of those [wives] from whom you had [temporarily] separated – there is no blame upon you [in returning her]. That is more suitable that they should be content and not grieve and that they should be satisfied with what you have given them – all of them. And Allah knows what is in your hearts. And ever is Allah Knowing and Forbearing. (Surah Al-Ahzab 33:51)

Here we have Allah’s knowledge and forbearance.

In Surat Fatir, Allah Almighty states:

 إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُمْسِكُ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضَ أَنْ تَزُولَا ۚ وَلَئِنْ زَالَتَا إِنْ أَمْسَكَهُمَا مِنْ أَحَدٍ مِنْ بَعْدِهِ ۚ إِنَّهُ كَانَ حَلِيمًا غَفُورًا

Indeed, Allah holds the heavens and the earth, lest they cease. And if they should cease, no one could hold them [in place] after Him. Indeed, He is Forbearing and Forgiving. (Surah Fatir 35:41)

 Finally, in Surat at-Taghabun, we have a unique combination, in which there is a pairing between Allah Almighty as shakoor and haleem.  Shakoor means appreciative.

إِنْ تُقْرِضُوا اللَّهَ قَرْضًا حَسَنًا يُضَاعِفْهُ لَكُمْ وَيَغْفِرْ لَكُمْ ۚ وَاللَّهُ شَكُورٌ حَلِيمٌ

English: If you loan Allah a goodly loan, He will multiply it for you and forgive you. And Allah is Most Appreciative and Forbearing. (64:17)

In the 11 mentions of Al Haleem, there are 4 different combinations – Ghafoor (forgiving), knowing (aleem), Ghani (Free of need) and shakoor (appreciative).  

As He is Al-Haleem, and gives His servants some time, you read the description of the two angels on the right side and the left side, in the authentic narrations it says when the servant does a sin, the left hand angel will intend to write this very sin, so the right hand angel will say ‘no no don’t write it, give him some time. Give him some time he might repent, he might do istighfaar and then you can write.’

Al-Mu’jam al-Awsat by Al-Tabarani and Musnad Ahmad mentions the conversation between the two angels:

إن العبد إذا أذنب ذنبًا كان صاحب اليمين أمسك عن كتابة أربع ساعات، فإن استغفر لم يكتبه عليه، وإن لم يستغفر كتبه سيئة واحدة.

When a servant commits a sin, the angel on the right holds back the pen for six hours. If the servant repents and seeks forgiveness from Allah, the sin is not recorded. If the servant does not repent, it is written as one sin.

The angel gives the servant some time, which could be six hours, bearing in mind that an ‘hour’ in those days did not mean 60 minutes as we understand it now, so it would be a period of time, which is less than a day, because the angels close their books by Maghrib time, when the shift of angels changes. A new set of angels come down at Maghrib and then they change again at Fajr, as there are two shifts of angels – the angels of the night and the angels of the day. So, we need to be quick in our repentance. 

Imam al-Haleemi, one of the great Shaafi’i scholars, who was a muhaddith and a faqhi, commented on the name Al-Haleem, saying that it is the One who does not withhold His favours or His blessings from His servants despite their sins and their mistakes. So He gives sinners and provides for them as He provides for the obedient servants of Him. It’s so beautiful. Providing for those who are disobedient to Him is hilm. He’s not punishing them instantly. He’s giving them some time they might repent, they might come back, they might rethink their position.

Ibnil Atheer, one of the great scholars of hadith and linguistics defined Al-Haleem by saying He is the One who is not reckless or hasty in His actions. When children are young they want things to be done before they say it. They do not think through the consequences of their actions. However ibn Atheer says is the Haleem does not act rashly nor is He provoked by the disobedience of His servants. Hastiness, which is ajalah in Arabic, is the complete opposite of hilm. Hastiness is a human trait, as man has been created with a hasty nature.

خُلِقَ الْإِنسَانُ مِنْ عَجَلٍ ۚ سَأُرِيكُمْ آيَاتِي فَلَا تَسْتَعْجِلُونِ

“Man was created of haste. I will show you My signs, so do not impatiently urge Me.” (21:37)

In the hadith, Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) says ‘al anaatu minallah’.

الأناة من الله والعجلة من الشيطان

“Deliberation is from Allah and haste is from Satan.” (Tirmidhi)

 Anaat is very close in meaning if you want forbearance and doing things – it means taking your time in doing things. Whereas, hastiness is from Shaytan. 

Ibn Katheer commented beautifully on this saying, Al-Haleem is the One who sees His servants – with their obedience and disobedience and He is haleem towards them, so He postpones things and conceals the sins of some of His servants allowing them to come back to Him, though they may not. Those who do not, will receive their punishment later.

Ibn Ashur, one of the great scholars of tafseer and fiqh, also commented on the name Al-Haleem, saying that He is the One who is not provoked by the actions of His servants and He is not angry at them, but accepts their apology. Thus if they come back to Him and ask for forgiveness sincerely, He forgives them.

We see this in the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). He used to call on Al Haleem in his supplications. Ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) said that when Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was sad, he would say:

لَا إِلَٰهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ الْعَظِيمُ الْحَلِيمُ، لَا إِلَٰهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ رَبُّ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَرَبُّ الْأَرْضِ وَرَبُّ الْعَرْشِ الْعَظِيمِ

Laa ilaaha illallah al adheem al haleem laa ilaaha illallah rabbusamawaaati wal ard rabbul arsh al adheem

“There is no deity but Allah, the Most Great, the Most Forbearing. There is no deity but Allah, the Lord of the heavens and the Lord of the Earth and the Lord of the Great Throne.”

He started his dua by saying laa ilaaha illallah al adheem (the most great) Al-Haleem (the forbearing). Laa ilaaha illallah rabbusamawaaati wal ard – the Lord of the Heavens and the Earth – rabbul arsh al adheem – the Lord of the Great Throne, it brought him comfort when he was distressed or felt uneasy. We can memorise it and repeat it – it’s very soothing. 

In another narration, the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said to Ali (may Allah be pleased with him),

“Shall I not teach you some words that, if you were to say them, Allah Almighty would forgive you?” Then he (peace be upon him) said to Ali (may Allah be pleased with him),

Say: ‘Laa ilaaha illallaahul ‘aliyyul ‘adheem, laa ilaaha illallaahul haleemul kareem, subhaanallaahi rabbil ‘arshil ‘adheem, alhamdulillahi rabbil ‘aalameen.’

لَا إِلَٰهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ الْعَلِيُّ الْعَظِيمُ، لَا إِلَٰهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ الْحَلِيمُ الْكَرِيمُ، سُبْحَانَ اللَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَرْشِ الْعَظِيمِ، الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ

“There is no deity but Allah, the Most High, the Most Great. There is no deity but Allah, the Most Forbearing, the Most Generous. Glory be to Allah, the Lord of the Great Throne. All praise is due to Allah, the Lord of all the worlds.”

Otherwise if Allah Almighty was not forbearing, He would punish us for any shortcoming, or for any mistake or sin we have done, and we have done many, straightaway.

How to implement hilm in your life

Now if we reflect upon this name and its benefits and how to implement it in our life, we start with the point that Allah Almighty is so powerful, He can punish us, but He has decided not to punish us instantly in the dunya. This does not mean we should be very relaxed and see it as a licence to do whatever we want. This is the wrong attitude – it is very shaytaanic. Just because you have not been punished, doesn’t mean you can go and jump over the fence, this is irresponsible and this is not the description of Allah Almighty’s servants. Allah Almighty’s servants are those who are obedient to Allah Almighty.

One of the benefits of understanding the meaning of this name is that you love Allah Almighty because He conceals your mistakes. He doesn’t expose them. We should be very careful because we do not know how long He will do this. The time limit may expire. After a certain number of chances, if you haven’t come back to Him, you will receive what you deserve. How do we adopt and embody the name, Al-Haleem? Allah Almighty loves those who are as well forbearing and not hasty, so don’t be hasty. Don’t be provoked and don’t be rash. It will spare you plenty of apologies, remorse and embarrassment. How many times do we get into awkward situations because of our haste? Or do the wrong thing or say the wrong thing? Had we waited a few seconds, we could have saved ourselves the mess we ended up in. We need to train ourselves to be forbearing. 

How to train yourself to be forbearing

Remember that Allah Almighty loves those who are among the people of hilm and anaat – those who are not hasty and deliberate before they act. They are calm and act wisely, because they weigh up the situation and make sound decisions as a result. If you train yourself to be a person of forbearance, then you are training yourself to be among those whom Allah Almighty loves.

In the hadith, Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:

“Knowledge is acquired by learning, and forbearance (hilm) is acquired by practicing it. Whoever seeks to attain good will be given it, and whoever seeks to avoid evil will be protected from it.” (Tabarani)

Hilm doesn’t parachute down on you, though some people are more forbearing by nature than others. So it requires training and patience to become a person of forbearance.

Some scholars offer tips and advice on how to do this, for instance if you are angry and you have very strong anger then remember that Allah Almighty is Al-Haleem and remains forbearing when the limits He set are broken, this will diffuse your anger. Train yourself to think of the most powerful, Allah Almighty, who does not crush us when we do something wrong. Therefore we need to control our selves, and our anger.

Also when you are angry and you want to calm down, remember the ayah:

وَلَا تَسْتَوِى ٱلْحَسَنَةُ وَلَا ٱلسَّيِّئَةُ ۚ ٱدْفَعْ بِٱلَّتِى هِىَ أَحْسَنُ فَإِذَا ٱلَّذِى بَيْنَكَ وَبَيْنَهُۥ عَدَٰوَةٌۭ كَأَنَّهُۥ وَلِىٌّ حَمِيمٌۭ ٣٤

The good deed and the evil deed are not equal. Repel evil with that which is better; then you will see that the one between you and whom there was enmity will become as though he was a devoted friend. (41:34)

It’s not bravery to insult somebody who insulted you double. Of course I’m not saying allow people to walk all over you, but don’t respond with even more harshness than the one who was bad to you. The reward of being forbearing without being trampled on and exploited, is huge:

إِنَّمَا يُوَفَّى الصَّابِرُونَ أَجْرَهُم بِغَيْرِ حِسَابٍ

“Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in full, without reckoning.” (39:10)

Ibn Ashur commented on the ayah, saying those who are practicing patience and controlling themselves even when it’s bitter, and try to diffuse their anger, they will get there.

Some scholars said you won’t be able to define someone’s character except in 3 situations – you can only truly see their hilm (forbearance) when when they’re angry. My advice for people who want to get married, or go into business with somebody, is to test that person when he is angry, and see what he does. That is when you can really identify his character.

Luqman al Hakeem was attributed with saying there are three ways to truly assess someone’s character:

1. Forbearance: You cannot assess a person’s forbearance, or hilm, unless they are angry. Observing their behaviour in moments of anger reveals whether they possess genuine forbearance or not.

2. Courage: A person’s courage can only be truly identified in the battlefield. Regardless of what they claim, their actions in the face of danger show whether they are truly courageous or cowardly.

3. True Brotherhood or Sisterhood: You won’t know who your true brothers or sisters are until you need them. In times of deep calamity, those who stand by you are your true siblings.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) taught the Companions how to diffuse their anger by saying simply and clearly ‘aoothubillaahi minash-shaytaan ar rajeem’. When you don’t just say it but mean it, i.e. you ask Allah for His protection from Shaytan, it will diffuse your anger. If it does not work, and you tried your best, but you’re still angry, what can you do? Wudu.

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:

Anger comes from the devil, the devil was created from fire, and fire is extinguished only with water; so when one of you is angry, let him perform ablution (wudu). (Abu Dawood)

Therefore, we extinguish the flames of anger with water – by doing wudu, taking a shower.

Another technique Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) taught us is that if you are angry, be silent.  Because in your anger you might say something which can destroy your life. I know many cases where couples have ruined their marriages with statements made in anger.

Another technique Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) mentioned is that if you are standing when you are angry, then sit down. If you are sitting, then lie down. In other words change your position. I say to somebody that when they are overcome by anger they should go for a walk in the park. Leave the house, especially if you have a fight with your wife or your husband. Of course you don’t do this if it isn’t the right time! You can’t do that in the middle of the night.

By implementing forbearance, we not only align ourselves closer to the character of Allah Almighty but also enhance our personal relationships and social interactions. The teachings of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) reinforce this principle, encouraging us to practice patience and calmness.

Delivered to the Convert Club on 16 Dec 2023

Transcribed by S Jawaid

Forbearance, Deliberation and Humility – Utrujj

The problem with haste. When speed is not of the essence. – Utrujj


Shaykh Haytham Tamim is the founder and main teacher of the Utrujj Foundation. He has provided a leading vision for Islamic learning in the UK, which has influenced the way Islamic knowledge is disseminated. He has orchestrated the design and delivery of over 200 unique courses since Utrujj started in 2001. His extensive expertise spans over 30 years across the main Islamic jurisprudence schools of thought. He has studied with some of the foremost scholars in their expertise; he holds some of the highest Ijazahs (certificates) in Quran, Hadith (the Prophetic traditions) and Fiqh (Islamic rulings). His own gift for teaching was evident when he gave his first sermon to a large audience at the age of 17 and went on to serve as a senior lecturer of Islamic transactions and comparative jurisprudence at the Islamic University of Beirut (Shariah College). He has continued to teach; travelling around the UK, Europe and wider afield, and won the 2015 BISCA award (British Imams & Scholars Contributions & Achievements Awards) for Outstanding Contribution to Education and Teaching.