Islam and puberty in girls (part 2): the concept of beauty and modesty

Becoming young women
The concept of beauty in Islam is so different to what we see around us. The famous boxer, Muhammad Ali, was quoted in a book written by his daughter, Hana Ali called, More Than A Hero: Muhammad Ali’s Life Lessons Through His Daughter’s Eyes. This was his advice to his daughter:
An incident transpired when Muhammad Ali’s daughters arrived at his home wearing clothes that were quite revealing.
Here is the story as told by one of his daughters:
“When we finally arrived, the chauffeur escorted my younger sister, Laila, and me up to my father’s suite. As usual, he was hiding behind the door waiting to scare us. We exchanged many hugs and kisses as we could possibly give in one day.
My father took a good look at us. Then he sat me down on his lap and said something that I will never forget. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Hana, everything that God made valuable in the world is covered and hard to get to.
Where do you find diamonds? Deep down in the ground, covered and protected.
Where do you find pearls? Deep down at the bottom of the ocean, covered up and protected in a beautiful shell.
Where do you find gold? Way down in the mine, covered over with layers and layers of rock. You’ve got to work hard to get to them.”
He looked at me with serious eyes. “Your body is sacred. You’re far more precious than diamonds and pearls, and you should be covered too.”
What do you think of this quote? How does it make you feel?
Beauty in the West
When we look at society and women in the western world, we find two ideas about beauty:
- What is defined as beauty in a woman. One study shows that the traditional measure of beauty are being thin and tall, having long hair, having light/tanned skin, having big breasts, large eyes, a small nose, and high cheekbones.”
However, these ideals are changing depending on society. There are women of colour, women who are big and from different parts of society and we see their images on the cover of magazines. But by in large, if you pick up a women’s magazine, Glamour or Vogue you will find the tall, long hair, dark eyed women.
- The more a women’s beauty the more beautiful she is and the more accepted she is in society. The clothes and accessories that are designed for women are done so in a way that actually makes them reveal more of their outward beauty, accentuating their looks and making them feel more beautiful. Whether you look at a bespoke, designer dress that fits around the waistline, slim silhouettes, hot pants, stovepipe jeans, or a brow pencil that contours the shape of their eyebrows, an eyelash curler that accentuates the shape of their eyes, and so on, the idea is that the more a woman accentuates her beauty, from the style of her hair down to the colour on her toenails, the more beautiful she looks. That is true. But what does this actually make you think about women?
That sends a message it is okay for women to be defined by their appearance and their physical beauty. Who we are is determined by what we wear and how we look.
Women’s status in Islam
How does this compare to the idea of beauty in Islam? Let’s take a look. Islam places a different value on women and their beauty. Islam elevates women in society and grants them lots of respect, rights and privileges. (Although in many countries those rights are not translated into freedom). Did you know that before women had voting rights in Britain in the 1920s, Islam had given them this right more than 1400 years ago in the 6th Century? Women could vote and be a participating member of society when policies were made. Women in Islam also have a right to education, to leadership, to work as well as rights and respect at home as a wife and daughter. In essence, in Islam women have been given tremendous honour, and grace.
Women’s role and responsibilities in Islam
Women also have different roles and responsibilities. For instance, a woman’s role as a wife and a mother in Islam require her to be the manager, carer, teacher and educator in her home and with her children, which is so different to the role that a father and a husband has to take which is primarily to be the breadwinner and leader of the house.
A woman’s beauty in Islam
When we look at the idea of beauty in Islam, the first thing we find is that Allah Almighty has created women beautiful both inside and out. He has given women both outward beauty adorned by their physical features and they are given inward beauty characterised by their soft nature and kind character especially when you look at the role of a mother.
A women’s physical beauty are her adornments. Her hair, her eyes, her face, the shape of her body are all physical features which make women look beautiful.
Haya (modesty)
Every religion or principle has something special that makes it distinct from others. In Islam, we find the unique concept of haya, which is modesty, embodies the idea of both inner and outer beauty. Islam teaches us that the true beauty of a man or a woman lies not so much in the adornment of their body but in the haya or modesty of his/her character. This includes acts of kindness to their family, friends and society, showing compassion to their fellow human beings, being generosity for others, being patience during hardship and calamities and their complete trust in and surrender to Allah in good times and bad. Islam teaches us we can live in dignity and strength even if we are humble or if we are going through testing times. Haya is also being modest in our appearance which means not wearing too much make up, clothes which are extravagant, not revealing our bodies and wearing hijab.
Women love to beautify themselves
Now all women have a natural desire to beautify themselves. That is how Allah made us. He made us beautiful with a strong need to look even more beautiful. AlhamdulAllah. However, our beauty is not for free and open for anybody. Just as Allah has given us boundaries for everything else in life, He has also placed women boundaries on how to beautify themselves.
Allah Almighty guides us in the Quran with distinct passages to tell us how we should safeguard our beauty and elevate our character to protect ourselves from those things which can harm us in society. He teaches us how to beautify ourselves and whom to and not to beautify in front of. From the examples of the Sahabiyyas, the female companions and wives of the Prophet (peace be upon him), we learn how to apply this guidance in our life and live our lives with purity and dignity.
We also find that the female companions of the Prophet (peace be upon him) and his wives, were the most respected and honourable women of society. Why? Because they followed Allah’s command with the best of intentions, and in the best of manners.
How does the idea of Less is More apply to women’s beauty in Islam?
By placing a value on our character rather than our looks, Islam dignifies women. It says that we don’t have to put our bodies on display and be consumed by how we look when we are out in society in order to look more beautiful. By revealing less of our adornments and beauty in public, it says that it elevates our inward character and our modesty. By revealing less, we look more elegant and graceful. It reminds us of the quote above from Muhammad Ali where he says that our beauty is precious, if we beautify ourselves, that is for us to see and not necessarily for display. He is saying that Allah has given us this beauty, in turn we need to look after it, guard it, protect it. Think of the guards standing outside the jewellery store or a bank. Why is all the money in a safe? Or the pearls deep down in the oceans? They are expensive and precious.
If we compare this to the idea of beauty in the modern world, we will find that its completely the polar opposite. If you really look deep down, the idea of beauty in the modern world is doing something else other than making women look beautiful. It has idolized beauty and commercialized it to the point where it becomes a commodity. For instance, we just need to look at the cover of women’s fashion magazines like Glamour, or Cosmopolitan, and we will discover the wide-legged trousers, over-sized blazers or pleated mini-skirts. Or if you enter Sephora, you’ll be swarmed with the latest lip fillers, lash curlers, glow serums, concealers, body mists, lip gloss, etc.
Islam removes the material pressure that society place on us to look good and feel accepted. It says that we don’t have to buy the latest skinny or the branded dress to feel like we belong. By placing less emphasis on wealth for accentuating our looks, we can actually focus on our modesty and perhaps focus on things which are more important in society, like helping others, creating change and being part of something bigger.
What’s wrong with looking beautiful?
There is nothing wrong with beautifying ourselves. In fact, women love to beautify themselves and we should. Allah Almighty knows that.
However, Allah Almighty also gives us boundaries for everything. Why? These boundaries are for our own protection so that we don’t get hurt. If I tell you not to go near this box because if you do, what is inside it may harm you. What will you do? Most likely you will not go near it, correct? The same rule applies when Allah Almighty teaches us something in the Quran.
When we look beautiful and attractive, we are more likely to draw attention that might be misleading. If we give in to the attention, it can lead us to a trap that might hurt us later on. Allah loves us and He doesn’t want us to get hurt. He doesn’t want us to be in situations where someone can take advantage of us and makes us feel uncomfortable.
What boundaries does Allah give to look after our adornments in the Quran:
- Cover our private parts. This is a given and we don’t think about it. But we need to be careful especially when we are changing in the lockers after PE, gym or swimming.
For girls: The following boundaries apply when we go out in public. We must be careful to do hijab especially in front of all boys (mature or around the age of puberty) and men, all male uncles, male friends, and male family members (including male cousins) EXCEPT yourfather, brother, paternal uncle, maternal uncle, grandfathers:
- Be careful not to wear something that is see through or transparent. It will show what our body looks like from the inside.
- Be careful not to wear something that shows the shape of our thighs and hips such as skinny or leggings or a short sleeve top can show the shape of our chest. We can wear nice clothes and still look smart or casual such as loose jeans with a nice jumper or cardigan.
- When we take on the hijab, we should pull it over our chest.
Our chest is part of the beauty and our hair is also a beautiful part of our beauty. As we grow our chests get bigger and our hair becomes thicker and more flowy and longer. In Arabia, before Islam came, women used to cover their hair but they would throw the end of their scarves behind their backs so that their chest would be exposed. Then Allah revealed an aya in the Quran commanding women to pull their headcoverings over their chest. When this aya came, the women in Madinah were so pious that when their husbands and brothers told them about this command of Allah, they would tear the curtains and take whatever covering they could find in their homes and wrap it themselves completely. The next day when they came to pray in the mosque of the Prophet (pbuh) the companions who narrated the hadith described them as looking like crows. They understood what the aya meant and they were so eager to follow the command of Allah.
- We should avoid make up where the eyelashes, eyes, lips are all enhanced.
Beautifying ourselves in front of women is fine and encouraged.
- Major Transformations in the Ummah: Lessons from the Seerah
- Major Principles in Islam: Haya (modesty)
- Shaban – the forgotten month
- Islam and puberty in girls (part 2): the concept of beauty and modesty
- The focal point of the Ummah
How to develop a stronger connection with Allah Almighty

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