What is mahr? And why is it given?
What is mahr?
Mahr is the obligation that the groom gives to the bride at the time of marriage. It is a sum of money or other property, which becomes payable by the husband to the wife as part of the marriage contact (nikkah). It is commanded in the Qur’an:
“And give the women [upon marriage] their [bridal] gifts graciously…”
(Surah An-Nisa 4:4)
The mahr belongs exclusively to the bride. Most scholars agree that the mahr should be something of monetary value, either wealth or a benefit that one would typically charge money for, such as a service or item that can be financially quantified.
When is mahr given?
Islam allows flexibility in when the mahr is given. It can be:
- Paid immediately at the time of the nikah (marriage contract)
- Deferred, to be paid later
- Or partly immediate and partly deferred.
This is based on mutual agreement between the bride and groom (or her guardian), and there is no fixed timing in Shari’ah, what matters is clarity and consent.
The symbolism of mahr
The mahr is a gesture that symbolises the groom’s commitment and responsibility towards his wife. It shows his intention to support and provide for his wife during their marriage. Therefore it should not be so low that it has little or no value.
The mahr is not a measure of the bride’s worth, her dignity is God-given and absolute, but rather to reflect that the groom is ready to take on his role as the guardian of his wife. In Islam, it is the husband’s responsibility to earn and provide for his family.
In today’s world where cultural norms often overshadow religious practice, the word mahr can be misunderstood. Some may wrongly suggest that it’s a form of payment for the bride, or a transactional price placed on her worth. In reality, the mahr is neither a dowry nor a sale. It is a religious obligation, which is symbolic of the groom’s ability to provide for his wife. It is a symbol of respect.
Mahr vs Dowry
It’s important to understand that mahr is not the same as the dowry that is sadly widespread in certain cultures today. In dowry systems, the bride’s family is expected to furnish money, gifts, or household goods to the groom or his family, sometimes under pressure or expectation. This is not part of Islamic teachings and can be a harmful practice that burdens families and distorts the purpose of marriage.
In Islam, it is the groom who gives, not the bride or her family.
Mahr Fatimi
Some companions gave gold, others gave land or livestock, not as a display of wealth, but as a genuine expression of commitment and capability. The term Mahr Fatimi refers to the mahr that Prophet Muhammad ﷺ arranged for his daughter Fatima (may Allah be pleased with her) when she married Ali (may Allah be pleased with him). The widely accepted amount for the Mahr Fatimi is 480 silver dirhams, although scholarly opinions may vary slightly.
Mahr Fatimi is not a required standard in Islamic law.
In another narration, Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) was asked about the dowry given to her by the Prophet ﷺ. Abu Salama bin ‘Abd al-Rahman reported:
“I asked Aisha, the wife of Allah’s Messenger ﷺ, ‘What was the amount of the dower given by the Prophet ﷺ?’ She replied: ‘It was twelve uqiyas and one nash.’ She then explained: ‘Do you know what a nash is?’ I said, ‘No.’ She said: ‘It is half of an uqiya. Altogether, it was five hundred dirhams, and that was the mahr given by the Prophet ﷺ to his wives.’”
[Muslim 1426]
Ultimately, the mahr is a mutual agreement between the bride and groom. It should reflect their personal circumstances, cultural context, and financial situation, aiming to honour the bride without causing hardship.
Mahr in the seerah: simple and varied
Mahr is flexible and can be tailored to the couple’s means and values. What matters most is the intention and the mutual agreement. In the story of Musa (peace be upon him) in the Quran, we see that his mahr was his service. Prophet Shuayb (peace be upon him) offered his daughter to Musa (peace be upon him) in marriage in exchange for eight years of service.
He (the father) said (to Musa), “I wish to marry to you one of these two daughters of mine on condition that you act as my employee for eight years. Then if you complete ten (years) it will be of your own accord. And I do not want to put you in any trouble; you will find me, Inshā’allah (God-willing) one of the righteous.”
This shows it is possible for the mahr to include a period of service rather than an amount of money, gold or silver. As we see in the sunnah of the Prophet (peace be upon him), a female companion in a gathering of the Prophet (peace be upon him) stood up and publicy asked the Prophet (peace be upon him) to marry her. The Prophet (peace be upon him) turned his gaze away and she repeated the request again. By this time, the crowd became critical. Then, the Prophet (peace be upon him) asked the companions in the gathering if anyone wanted to marry her? A man stood up and asked what could he offer her in exchange for her hand. The companion didn’t have anything to give not even a metal ring. The Prophet (peace be upon him) asked him if he had memorised the Quran. If so, he suggested that he teach her the Quran as a means of his mahr to the woman. Thus, it is permissible to provide service as mahr to the woman.
Sahl ibn Sa’d reported: I was among people with the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, as a woman stood up and she said, “O Messenger of Allah, she has given herself in marriage to you, so what is your answer?” The Prophet did not reply. She stood up again and she said, “O Messenger of Allah, she has given herself to you, so what is your answer.” The Prophet ﷺ again did not reply. She stood up a third time and she said, “She has given herself in marriage to you, so what is your answer?” A man stood up and he said, “O Messenger of Allah, marry her to me.” The Prophet ﷺ said, “Do you have anything as a dowry?” He said no. The Prophet ﷺ said, “Go find something, even an iron ring.” The man went and searched, then he came back and he said, “I could not find anything, not even an iron ring.” The Prophet ﷺ said, “Have you learned anything from the Quran?” He said, “Yes, I know some chapters.” The Prophet ﷺ said, “Go, for I have married you both with what you have learned from the Quran.” (Bukhari and Muslim)
The best mahr is modest
Marriage is highly recommended in Islam. Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) narrated that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “Marriage is part of my sunnah, and whoever does not follow my sunnah has nothing to do with me.” (ibn Majah) Therefore, the mahr should not become an obstacle in preventing marriage.
Moreover, Islam encourages ease and moderation in all matters, and marriage is no exception. Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:
“The best marriage is the one that is easiest.”
(Ibn Hibban)
And in another narration:
“The best mahr is the one that is the easiest (or lightest) to give.”
(Bayhaqi)
This means that mahr should never be a burden, a test of status, or a financial strain. Unfortunately, in some communities today, expectations around mahr have grown unrealistic, turning what should be a spiritual gift into a social competition and makes marriage financially prohibitive for young men who are just starting out. This is the opposite of the prophetic example.
This issue existed even in days gone by, so even Umar ibn al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him), the second Caliph, once stood on the minbar and attempted to place a limit on how high mahrs could be, fearing that they were becoming excessive. However, a woman publicly challenged his decision by quoting a verse from the Qur’an, and he accepted her correction, accepting that mahr should be fixed with mutual consent.
Unpaid mahr is debt
The mahr is debt until it is has been given to the wife. If the husband passes before he gave it, it has to be taken from his estate when he passes away and given to his wife before his inheritance is distributed.
Debt repayment is extremely important in Islam. It is treated as a serious moral and legal obligation, and many authentic hadiths emphasise the gravity of leaving debts unpaid.
The Prophet ﷺ would avoid praying the janazah of someone in debt. He ﷺ would delay or refrain from leading the funeral prayer of a person who had died with unpaid debts, unless someone took responsibility for paying them.
“The soul of the believer is suspended until his debt is paid.” (Tirmidhi)
The Prophet ﷺ warned that even martyrdom does not wipe away debt:
“All the sins of a martyr are forgiven except debt.” (Muslim)
Mahr is a part of the nikkah, it honours the wife and demonstrates the readiness of the groom for the financial reponsibility he is undertaking in marriage. It should be a reasonable amount, as agreed between both parties, but not put undue financial pressure on the groom. It can be given immediately or later, but must be paid before the husband dies, otherwise it is a debt that is deducted from his estate when he passes away.