The psychology of blame in the Quran
Blame in the Quran
1. Refusal to take responsibility
In the Quran, we see that blame is used frequently by disbelievers to avoid taking responsibility. They blame their refusal to believe on the fact that the Messenger (peace be upon him) was human, rather than an angel.
وَقَالُواْ مَالِ هَٰذَا ٱلرَّسُولِ يَأۡكُلُ ٱلطَّعَامَ وَيَمۡشِي فِي ٱلۡأَسۡوَاقِ لَوۡلَآ أُنزِلَ إِلَيۡهِ مَلَكٞ فَيَكُونَ مَعَهُۥ نَذِيرًا
And they say, “What is this messenger that eats food and walks in the markets? Why was there not sent down to him an angel so he would be with him a warner? (25:7)
“You walk in the market” they say to the Prophet (peace be upon him) in order to explain why they cannot believe in him. Not stopping there, they blame God for not sending miracles of their choosing such as turning the mountains of Safa into gold. Imam Ahmad recorded that Ibn ‘Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) said:
“The people of Makkah asked the Prophet to turn As-Safa’ into gold for them, and to remove the mountains (from around Makkah) so that they could cultivate the land.
The Quraysh said to the Prophet , “Ask your Lord to turn As-Safa’ into gold and we will believe in you.” He said, (Will you really do that) They said, “Yes.” So he asked his Lord, and Jibril came to him and said: “Your Lord conveys His Salam to you and says, “If you wish, I will turn As-Safa’ into gold for them, then whoever of them disbelieves after that, will be punished with a torment the like of which has never be seen in creation; or if you wish, I will open the gates of repentance and mercy for them.”” (17:59)
In addition to blaming God for not granting them the miracles they wished for, they blame their disbelief on the fact that those who follow the religion of Islam are from a lower class than them. Thus, the Quraysh blamed everyone but themselves for their refusal to submit to God.
2. Blame of tyrants
In the Quran, we see tyrants, such as Firaun, who also refused to submit to the higher authority of God, deliberately blaming God’s messengers, Musa and Haroon (peace be upon them) for trying to corrupt the people in order to reinforce their authority. Firaun falsely claims:
يُرِيدُ أَن يُخْرِجَكُم مِّنْ أَرْضِكُم بِسِحْرِهِۦ فَمَاذَا تَأْمُرُونَ ٣٥
He wants to expel you from your land with his sorcery. So what do you suggest?” (26:35)
It is out of a narcissistic sense of superiority that they do not accept blame.
3. Blame due to envy and hatred
Most poignantly, in the Quran, we see the granddaddy of all evil, Iblis, audaciously blame God Himself for his failure to obey Him. He blames his refusal to submit to Allah’s command to prostrate to Adam on Allah’s gross lack of judgement in asking him to do this. He then goes on to blame Allah for his vow to lead mankind astray.
قَالَ رَبِّ بِمَآ أَغۡوَيۡتَنِي لَأُزَيِّنَنَّ لَهُمۡ فِي ٱلۡأَرۡضِ وَلَأُغۡوِيَنَّهُمۡ أَجۡمَعِينَ
Iblis said: “My Lord! In the manner You led me to error, I will make things on earth seem attractive to them and lead all of them to error, (15:39)
4. The connection between rage and blame
Iblis is saying absurdly and arrogantly, “It wasn’t my fault I disobeyed you. It was yours.” His inability to calmly and rationally accept he was at fault, stems from his anger-management issues. Unable to regulate his emotions, he is so clouded by rage, and blinded by envy that any introspection eludes him.
5. Evildoers blame others
In the Quran, we see disbelievers not just blaming each other in their life, but continuing to blame each other in the hereafter. In Surat Saba, Allah Almighty describes the discussion which takes place in the hereafter between oppressors and evildoers and their followers.
وَقَالَ الَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا لَن نُّؤْمِنَ بِهَٰذَا الْقُرْآنِ وَلَا بِالَّذِي بَيْنَ يَدَيْهِ ۗ وَلَوْ تَرَىٰ إِذِ الظَّالِمُونَ مَوْقُوفُونَ عِندَ رَبِّهِمْ يَرْجِعُ بَعْضُهُمْ إِلَىٰ بَعْضٍ الْقَوْلَ يَقُولُ الَّذِينَ اسْتُضْعِفُوا لِلَّذِينَ اسْتَكْبَرُوا لَوْلَا أَنتُمْ لَكُنَّا مُؤْمِنِينَ
Those who disbelieve say, “We will never believe in this Quran, nor in what came before it.” If you could only see the wrongdoers, captive before their Lord, throwing back allegations at one another. Those who were oppressed will say to those who were arrogant, “Were it not for you, we would have been believers.” (34:31)
قَالَ الَّذِينَ اسْتَكْبَرُوا لِلَّذِينَ اسْتُضْعِفُوا أَنَحْنُ صَدَدْنَاكُمْ عَنِ الْهُدَىٰ بَعْدَ إِذْ جَاءَكُم ۖ بَلْ كُنتُم مُّجْرِمِينَ
Those who were arrogant will say to those who were oppressed, “Was it us who turned you away from guidance when it came to you? No indeed, you yourselves were sinful.” (34:32)
The followers blame the oppressors and say they wish they had never followed them. The oppressors retort that they are not to blame – as the followers were just as culpable – they were all criminals, in it together, as evil as each other.
In politics, we see constant exchanges of blame – each politician and party blaming its predecessors for the mess that exists. Historically, it has always been the easy tactic to create scapegoats, to disingenuously shield one’s reputation and distract others from one’s failures.
6. The abuser blaming the victim for their abuse
It is the act of an abuser to blame the victim. It is the behaviour of the abuser to tell its victim that they are have brought their punishment upon themselves, because they deserved it. And to further blame the victim for their suffering as a display of suffering.
In the twisted logic that justifies sadistic behaviour, the aggressor portrays themself as moral and justified, when in fact the reality is quite the opposite.
The blame-game is always convenient when one does not wish to admit or confront reality. The blame-game is not just a convenient tactic to deflect attention from one’s own shortcomings or guilt, but a means of keeping the other party oppressed. It is much easier to point that finger at others, than to confront the evil within.
Accountability
In the Quran, we are reminded that we will all be held responsible for our actions. Throughout the Quran, we are reminded of the Day of Judgement, when all souls will be held to account. Success on that Day is contingent on taking responsibility for our choices and actions within our lifetime. We have to stop finding others whom we can blame for our mistakes. Whether we are a parent, a teacher, a leader or anyone else, we have to own up to ourselves and others when we get it wrong. On the Day of Judgement, there will be nowhere to hide, nowhere to run, and no one to blame but one’s own self.
Holding your own soul to account
In contrast to Iblis, success in the hereafter lies in self-scrutiny. Allah says in the Quran,
وَلَا أُقْسِمُ بِالنَّفْسِ اللَّوَّامَةِ
“And I swear by the reproaching soul.” (75:2)
This reproaching soul (nafs al lawwama) is the nafs that sometimes incites a person to do sin, but then self-incriminates, feels bad, and experiences guilt. The ones who commit a sin, then feel remorse and regret, shame and embarrassment, wish they could take it back, or that they never did it. They are fighting a battle with their nafs. This helps them to stay away from sin. Rather than blaming others, blaming oneself is a vehicle for personal growth and helps improves relationships. Relationships grow stronger when individuals can hold their hands up and admit they were wrong.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
“The wise person is the one who takes himself to account and strives for that which is after death. And the helpless person is the one who allows himself to follow his own whims, then indulges in wishful thinking about Allah.” (Tirmidhi)
Personal growth and improving relationships
The moment we acknowledge our mistakes is a gateway to seeking forgiveness and personal growth. As long as we fail to take responsibility for our actions, we cause hurt, frustration, and damage relationships. Those unfairly blamed, feel angry, powerless and wronged.
Blame emanates from the desire to be right at all times, and the stubborn refusal to accept being in the wrong or accept one’s own shortcomings. It can be the desperate deflection of one’s inadequacy in one’s owns eyes, a cover for cowardice and insecurity. It can also be born of arrogance, and fuelled by anger and hatred. It can range from refusing to acknowledge responsibility to gaslighting – manipulating someone else into doubting their perception of reality. Accepting blame, on the other hand, shows maturity, intelligence and moral accountability.
May Allah makes us of those who take ourselves into account before we blame others. Ameen.
Based on the teachings of Shaykh Haytham Tamim