17 lessons on raising youth from the prophetic template

Surat al-Kahf is a key surah with many lessons. It is the sunnah to recite it every Friday. We have reflected on different aspects of this surah on many occasions, but our focus here is on young people.

The very first story in Surah al-Kahf is the story of young people, who retreated into the cave, after which the surah itself is named. Both the prominence of the theme and the name of surah point to the importance of youth in Islam.

In the seerah, the Prophet ﷺ gave special attention to the youth. He nurtured them, guided them, and trusted them. He gave them responsibility when they showed enough maturity. Among them were ʿAli ibn Abi Talib (may Allah be pleased with him) and al-Arqam, who was around sixteen years old. Later, in Madinah, many of the companions were young. The first teacher the Prophet ﷺ sent to Madinah was a young man, Musʿab ibn ʿUmayr.

When you look through the seerah, you see the Prophet ﷺ speaking to young companions again and again. Young people are the future and are also often the starting point of change. Youth carry energy and passion, and they are the heart of change. But this energy needs direction and must be combined with the wisdom of elders. Without guidance, energy can be wasted or even dangerous.

Let’s look at how the Prophet ﷺ interacted with the youth to see what we can learn from his example.

1. Give practical guidance

The Prophet ﷺ addressed young people directly and gave them practical guidance. For instance, he taught them how to manage their desires in a halal way. He encouraged marriage as a means of protecting their chastity. When speaking to ʿAbdullah ibn ʿAbbas (may Allah be pleased with him), he would address him gently, saying, “O young man” or “O my son”.

The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:

“O young people, whoever among you can afford it, let him marry, for it lowers the gaze and guards chastity. Whoever cannot afford it, let him fast, for it will be a shield for him.”
(Bukhari and Muslim)

On one occasion, three young men came to the mosque to ask about the Prophet’s worship. They spoke to ʿAisha (may Allah be pleased with her), and when they heard about his practices, they thought it was not much. They said that since he was a prophet, his sins were forgiven, but they needed to do more.

One said he would pray all night without sleeping. Another said he would fast every day. The third said he would never marry.

When the Prophet ﷺ heard this, he addressed the people and said that he was the most God-fearing among them, yet he prayed and slept, fasted and ate, and married. He made it clear that Islam does not promote celibacy or extreme behaviour. Balance is essential. Desires are not removed; they are fulfilled in a halal way. He ﷺ taught that the body has rights, the soul has rights, and the family has rights.

أَنَّ عَبْدَ اللَّهِ قَالَ دَخَلَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم حُجْرَتِي فَقَالَ ‏”‏ أَلَمْ أُخْبَرْ أَنَّكَ تَقُومُ اللَّيْلَ وَتَصُومُ النَّهَارَ ‏”‏ ‏.‏ قَالَ بَلَى ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏”‏ فَلاَ تَفْعَلَنَّ نَمْ وَقُمْ وَصُمْ وَأَفْطِرْ فَإِنَّ لِعَيْنِكَ عَلَيْكَ حَقًّا وَإِنَّ لِجَسَدِكَ عَلَيْكَ حَقًّا وَإِنَّ لِزَوْجَتِكَ عَلَيْكَ حَقًّا وَإِنَّ لِضَيْفِكَ عَلَيْكَ حَقًّا وَإِنَّ لِصَدِيقِكَ عَلَيْكَ حَقًّا وَإِنَّهُ عَسَى أَنْ يَطُولَ بِكَ عُمُرٌ وَإِنَّهُ حَسْبُكَ أَنْ تَصُومَ مِنْ كُلِّ شَهْرٍ ثَلاَثًا فَذَلِكَ صِيَامُ الدَّهْرِ كُلِّهِ وَالْحَسَنَةُ بِعَشْرِ أَمْثَالِهَا ‏”‏ ‏.‏ قُلْتُ إِنِّي أَجِدُ قُوَّةً فَشَدَّدْتُ فَشُدِّدَ عَلَىَّ ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏”‏ صُمْ مِنْ كُلِّ جُمُعَةٍ ثَلاَثَةَ أَيَّامٍ ‏”‏ ‏.‏ قُلْتُ إِنِّي أُطِيقُ أَكْثَرَ مِنْ ذَلِكَ فَشَدَّدْتُ فَشُدِّدَ عَلَىَّ ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏”‏ صُمْ صَوْمَ نَبِيِّ اللَّهِ دَاوُدَ عَلَيْهِ السَّلاَمُ ‏”‏ ‏.‏ قُلْتُ وَمَا كَانَ صَوْمُ دَاوُدَ قَالَ ‏”‏ نِصْفُ الدَّهْرِ ‏”‏ ‏.‏

The Prophet ﷺ trained his companions carefully. He spoke to them often, gave them responsibility, sent them on missions, and monitored their growth. One example is Usamah ibn Zayd, whom he appointed as a leader at a young age.

2. Trust young people with responsibility

The example of Usamah ibn Zayd (may Allah be pleased with him) teaches us something very important about how the Prophet ﷺ worked with young people. He did not only advise them or speak to them kindly; he trusted them. Trust was a key part of their upbringing.

Usamah was not given leadership on a whim or out of nepotism. As he had been raised close to the Prophet ﷺ, he had observed his character, learned from his behaviour, and been under his special guidance and care. Just as a needle is magnetised by being close to a magnet, he naturally imitated the Prophet ﷺ, without even realising it, in the same way that children pick up the habits and manners of those they live with. Therefore, by the time he was appointed as a commander, he was ready. It was not because of his age or lineage, but because of his character and training.

This teaches us that responsibility should not be delayed simply because someone is young, nor should it be given without preparation. The Prophet ﷺ showed that when young people are nurtured properly, guided consistently, and held accountable, they are capable of carrying great responsibility.

Youth do not rise when they are constantly doubted or sidelined. They rise when they are trusted, supported, and given space to grow under wise leadership.

3. Inculcate a strong relationship with Allah

A central part of how the Prophet ﷺ nurtured young people was by giving them a firm foundation in their relationship with Allah. He taught them that taqwa is the basis of one’s protection, stability, and direction. Without taqwa, one is weak and susceptible to temptations, false notions and peer pressure.

Ibn ‘Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) said:

قَالَ كُنْتُ خَلْفَ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم يَوْمًا فَقَالَ ‏ “‏ يَا غُلاَمُ إِنِّي أُعَلِّمُكَ كَلِمَاتٍ احْفَظِ اللَّهَ يَحْفَظْكَ احْفَظِ اللَّهَ تَجِدْهُ تُجَاهَكَ ‏”‏ 

Taqwa is when your obedience comes from conviction that you are accountable to Allah. It is living with the consciousness that Allah sees you, knows you, and is close to you. When a young person has a close relationship with Allah, they develop an inner compass that guides them even when no one else is watching.

This kind of awareness keeps them safe in times of confusion, gives them the strength to resist temptation, and protects them.

4. Discuss – do not force

The Prophet ﷺ did not teach young people through anger or force. One well-known incident shows this clearly. A young man once came to the Prophet ﷺ and openly asked if he could be allowed to commit zina. The companions were shocked and became angry, but the Prophet ﷺ told them to leave him alone.

Abu Umamah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported:

عَنْ أَبِي أُمَامَةَ قَالَ إِنَّ فَتًى شَابًّا أَتَى النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَقَالَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ ائْذَنْ لِي بِالزِّنَا فَأَقْبَلَ الْقَوْمُ عَلَيْهِ فَزَجَرُوهُ قَالُوا مَهْ مَهْ فَقَالَ ادْنُهْ فَدَنَا مِنْهُ قَرِيبًا قَالَ فَجَلَسَ قَالَ أَتُحِبُّهُ لِأُمِّكَ قَالَ لَا وَاللَّهِ جَعَلَنِي اللَّهُ فِدَاءَكَ قَالَ وَلَا النَّاسُ يُحِبُّونَهُ لِأُمَّهَاتِهِمْ قَالَ أَفَتُحِبُّهُ لِابْنَتِكَ قَالَ لَا وَاللَّهِ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ جَعَلَنِي اللَّهُ فِدَاءَكَ قَالَ وَلَا النَّاسُ يُحِبُّونَهُ لِبَنَاتِهِمْ قَالَ أَفَتُحِبُّهُ لِأُخْتِكَ قَالَ لَا وَاللَّهِ جَعَلَنِي اللَّهُ فِدَاءَكَ قَالَ وَلَا النَّاسُ يُحِبُّونَهُ لِأَخَوَاتِهِمْ قَالَ أَفَتُحِبُّهُ لِعَمَّتِكَ قَالَ لَا وَاللَّهِ جَعَلَنِي اللَّهُ فِدَاءَكَ قَالَ وَلَا النَّاسُ يُحِبُّونَهُ لِعَمَّاتِهِمْ قَالَ أَفَتُحِبُّهُ لِخَالَتِكَ قَالَ لَا وَاللَّهِ جَعَلَنِي اللَّهُ فِدَاءَكَ قَالَ وَلَا النَّاسُ يُحِبُّونَهُ لِخَالَاتِهِمْ فَوَضَعَ يَدَهُ عَلَيْهِ وَقَالَ اللَّهُمَّ اغْفِرْ ذَنْبَهُ وَطَهِّرْ قَلْبَهُ وَحَصِّنْ فَرْجَهُ فَلَمْ يَكُنْ بَعْدُ ذَلِكَ الْفَتَى يَلْتَفِتُ إِلَى شَيْءٍ

A young man came to the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, and he said, “O Messenger of Allah, give me permission to commit adultery.” The people turned to rebuke him, saying, “Quiet! Quiet!” The Prophet said, “Come here.” The young man came close and he told him to sit down. The Prophet said, “Would you like that for your mother?” The man said, “No, by Allah, may I be sacrificed for you.” The Prophet said, “Neither would people like it for their mothers. Would you like that for your daughter?” The man said, “No, by Allah, may I be sacrificed for you.” The Prophet said, “Neither would people like it for their daughters. Would you like that for your sister?” The man said, “No, by Allah, may I be sacrificed for you.” The Prophet said, “Neither would people like it for their sisters. Would you like that for your aunts?” The man said, “No, by Allah, may I be sacrificed for you.” The Prophet said, “Neither would people like it for their aunts.” Then, the Prophet placed his hand on him and he said, “O Allah, forgive his sins, purify his heart, and guard his chastity.” After that, the young man never again inclined to anything sinful. (Musnad Ahmad)

By remaining calm and respectful and with open dialogue, the Prophet ﷺ helped him understand that desires must be judged by the same moral standards we expect for those we love. Within minutes, the young man understood, without being shouted at, humiliated, or rejected.

This incident shows that the Prophet ﷺ addressed young people with empathy and wisdom. He did not deny their instincts, but he guided them to think responsibly. He taught through conversation, not punishment.

5. Prepare youth for the Hereafter

The Prophet ﷺ also reminded young people that youth itself is a trust. It is not just a phase to pass through, but a period of responsibility.

He ﷺ said:

لَا تَزُولُ قَدَمَا عَبْدٍ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ حَتَّىٰ يُسْأَلَ عَنْ أَرْبَعٍ:
عَنْ عُمُرِهِ فِيمَا أَفْنَاهُ،
وَعَنْ شَبَابِهِ فِيمَا أَبْلَاهُ،
وَعَنْ مَالِهِ مِنْ أَيْنَ اكْتَسَبَهُ وَفِيمَا أَنْفَقَهُ،
وَعَنْ عِلْمِهِ مَاذَا عَمِلَ بِهِ.

“The feet of a servant will not move on the Day of Resurrection until he is asked about four matters:
about his life and how he spent it,
about his youth and how he used it,
about his wealth — how he earned it and how he spent it,
and about his knowledge — what he did with it.”  (Darimi)

This teaching gives youth purpose. Time, energy, health, and ability are all gifts that will be questioned. Youth is not meaningless freedom. It is a window of opportunity. The Prophet ﷺ taught young people to live consciously, to use their strength well, and to prepare early for what lies ahead.

Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet ﷺ said:

 فعن أبي هريرة رضي الله عنه عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: (سبعة يظلهم الله في ظله يوم لا ظل إلا ظله: إمام عادل، وشاب نشأ في عبادة الله تعالى، ورجل قلبه معلق في المساجد، ورجلان تحابا في الله: اجتمعا عليه، وتفرقا عليه، ورجل دعته امرأة ذات منصب وجمال فقال: إني أخاف الله، ورجل تصدق بصدقة فأخفاها، حتى لا تعلم شماله ما تنفق يمينه، ورجل ذكر الله خاليا ففاضت عيناه).

“Seven will be shaded by Allah in His shade on the Day when there will be no shade except His:
1-a just ruler;
2-a young person who grew up in the worship of Allah;
3-a man whose heart is attached to the mosques;
4-two men who love one another for the sake of Allah, meeting upon that and parting upon that;
5-a man whom a woman of status and beauty invites (to sin), but he says: ‘Indeed, I fear Allah’;
6-a man who gives charity and conceals it so much that his left hand does not know what his right hand has spent;
7-and a man who remembers Allah while alone, and his eyes overflow with tears.” (Bukhari and Muslim)

6. Build moral strength and character

The Prophet ﷺ did not separate worship from character. He taught that faith is not simply about belief, but has to be translated into action. For instance, he showed them  how to deal with mistakes when they happen – not just how to delete sins from our records, but how to practically rectify our mistakes when we make them.

He ﷺ said:

عَنْ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه و سلم قَالَ: “اتَّقِ اللَّهَ حَيْثُمَا كُنْت، وَأَتْبِعْ السَّيِّئَةَ الْحَسَنَةَ تَمْحُهَا، وَخَالِقْ النَّاسَ بِخُلُقٍ حَسَنٍ” .

Have taqwa of Allah wherever you may be, and follow up a bad deed with a good deed which will wipe it out, and behave well towards the people. (Tirmidhi)

This teaching reassures young people that mistakes do not define them. What matters is returning to Allah, correcting oneself, and continuing to grow. Moral strength is not about being perfect. It is about striving.

7. Give youth belief and clear purpose

Mu’adh ibn Jabal (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that he was once riding behind the Prophet ﷺ when the Prophet said:

“I was a companion rider of the Prophet ﷺ on a donkey called ‘Ufair. The Prophet ﷺ asked, “O Mu`adh! Do you know what Allah’s right on His slaves is, and what the right of His slaves on Him is?” I replied, “Allah and His Apostle know better.” He said, “Allah’s right on His slaves is that they should worship Him (Alone) and should not worship any besides Him. And slave’s right on Allah is that He should not punish him who worships none besides Him.” I said, “O Allah’s Messenger ﷺ! Should I not inform the people of this good news?” He said, “Do not inform them of it, lest they should depend on it (absolutely).” (Bukhari and Muslim)

The Prophet ﷺ then explained that the right of Allah is that He alone is worshipped, and the right of the servants is that Allah does not punish those who do not associate anything with Him. However, when Mu’adh asked if he should tell others, the Prophet ﷺ said: “Do not inform them, lest they rely on it alone.”

8. Teach by example

One of the strongest features of the Prophet’s ﷺ approach to raising young people was that he taught them through who he was, not just what he said. His character was consistent, visible, and lived out daily.

Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) described him simply by saying that his character was the Quran.

عن قتادة قُلْتُ لعائشة يَا أُمَّ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ أَنْبِئِينِي عَنْ خُلُقِ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَتْ أَلَسْتَ تَقْرَأُ الْقُرْآنَ قُلْتُ بَلَى قَالَتْ فَإِنَّ خُلُقَ نَبِيِّ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ كَانَ الْقُرْآنَ

Qatadah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported: I said to Aisha, “O mother of the believers, tell me about the character of the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him.” Aisha said, “Have you not read the Quran?” I said, “Of course.” Aisha said, “Verily, the character of the Prophet of Allah was the Quran.” (Muslim)

This meant that young people did not need abstract explanations of values. They saw honesty, patience, mercy, restraint, and sincerity embodied in front of them.

This shows that the most powerful education for youth is not constant instruction, but good role models they can observe every day.

9. Raise youth with emotional safety and love

The Prophet ﷺ created an emotionally safe environment for young people. Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) served the Prophet ﷺ for ten years, starting at a very young age. During that entire time, the Prophet ﷺ never scolded him, never spoke harshly to him, and never humiliated him.

The Prophet ﷺ understood that emotional containment is not weakness. It is the foundation for confidence, maturity, and responsibility.

10. Encourage thinking, not blind repetition

The Prophet ﷺ did not raise young people to be passive followers. He encouraged them to think, reflect, and engage.

In the earlier hadith, we saw that when he spoke to Muadh ibn Jabal (may Allah be pleased with him), he asked him questions before giving answers. This method trained young people to reflect rather than simply receive information.

When the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) wanted to send Mu’adh to Yemen, he asked him: “How will you judge if a case is brought before you?” He replied: “I will judge according to the Book of Allah, the Exalted and Glorified.” He asked: “And if you do not find it in the Book of Allah, the Exalted and Glorified?” He replied: “Then according to the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him).” He asked: “And if you do not find it in the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah nor in the Book of Allah?” He replied: ” I will exert my utmost effort in reasoning and spare no effort.” The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) then patted him on the chest and said: “Praise be to Allah who has guided the messenger of the Messenger of Allah to what pleases the Messenger of Allah.” (Abu Dawoud)

By asking questions, the Prophet ﷺ activated the mind and heart together. This approach builds conviction, not just compliance. Faith that is thought through becomes stable and lasting.

11. Build faith before overwhelming with rules

The Prophet ﷺ understood stages of development. Jundub ibn Abdullah (may Allah be pleased with him) said:

عَنْ جُنْدُبِ بْنِ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ قَالَ:
كُنَّا مَعَ النَّبِيِّ ﷺ وَنَحْنُ فِتْيَانٌ حَزَاوِرَةٌ، فَتَعَلَّمْنَا الْإِيمَانَ قَبْلَ أَنْ نَتَعَلَّمَ الْقُرْآنَ، ثُمَّ تَعَلَّمْنَا الْقُرْآنَ فَازْدَدْنَا بِهِ إِيمَانًا.

“We were with the Prophet ﷺ while we were young and strong, and we learned faith before we learned the Quran. Then we learned the Quran, and it increased us in faith.” (Ibn Majah)

This shows that belief, meaning, and purpose were established before legal detail. Young people were not overwhelmed with information before their hearts were ready.

Faith came first. Practice followed. This gradual approach protected young people from burnout, confusion, and resentment.

12. Show confidence in them publicly

We have already mentioned Usamah ibn Zayd, but an important additional point is that the Prophet ﷺ publicly defended him when people questioned his leadership. He ﷺ said:

“If you criticise the leadership of Usamah, then you have already criticized the leadership of his father before him.” (Bukhari)

He did not remain silent. He affirmed Usamah’s ability openly. This public trust strengthened Usamah and sent a clear message to the community that young people deserve confidence when they are qualified.

Trust is what creates leaders. Suspicion and constant doubt produce hesitation and insecurity.

13. Correct without crushing

When young people made mistakes or voiced problematic ideas, the Prophet ﷺ corrected them gently. He addressed behaviour without attacking dignity.

This shows that wrongdoing was treated as something to be corrected, not something that defined the person. The Prophet ﷺ separated the mistake from the individual.

Young people learn best when correction preserves self-respect and leaves room for growth. You see this in the story of the three youngsters who came to Aisha and asked her about the prophet’s ﷺ worship

14. Motivate through encouragement and praise

The Prophet ﷺ used praise carefully and wisely. He acknowledged good qualities and encouraged improvement without comparison or humiliation.

When he praised Abdullah ibn Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) and then encouraged him to pray at night, he affirmed him first and guided him forward gently.

This balance motivates growth. Praise that is sincere builds confidence. Guidance that follows gives direction.

15. Link knowledge to action

The Prophet ﷺ did not teach knowledge as something theoretical. Every young person who learned something was also taught responsibility.

The Prophet ﷺ said:

“What an excellent man ‘Abdullah is, if only he were to pray at night.” After that, he would sleep only a little at night. (Bukhari and Muslim)

When he said to convey even one verse, he showed that learning carries a duty. Knowledge is not meant to be stored, but lived and shared.

This approach prevents knowledge from becoming a badge of pride. It makes it a trust.

16. Support youth through dua

The Prophet ﷺ made dua for young people. He knew that guidance, understanding, and success ultimately come from Allah.

When he made dua for Ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with , he was investing in him spiritually, not just intellectually. Dua was part of education, not separate from it.

Ibn ʿAbbas (may Allah be pleased with them both) reported that the Prophet ﷺ embraced him and said:

“O Allah, grant him understanding of the religion and teach him the interpretation (of the Qur’an).” (Bukhari)

This teaches us that raising youth is not only effort and strategy. It is also reliance on Allah.

17. Nurture balanced human beings

The Prophet ﷺ rejected extremes. He taught young people that worship does not cancel the rights of the body, the mind, or rest.

By teaching balance, he raised youth who could worship Allah while still engaging fully with life. This balance produced strength, not fragility.

The prophetic method with youth

The Prophet ﷺ gave young companions deep knowledge with responsibility. Faith should lead to action, not complacency.

Through these teachings, the Prophet ﷺ addressed young people with realism, not denial of their instincts. He used dialogue to engage with them, not repression. He gave them responsibility, and did not neglect them. He  taught them accountability over heedlessness; and he strengthened their belief and morals, rather than ritualism.

He was sensitive to age, ability, and individual differences, and always driven by purpose. This is how he shaped a generation that was spiritually aware, ethically strong, and prepared for both life and the Hereafter.

The Prophet ﷺ saw young people as the backbone of change and the builders of the future. He invested in them early, trusted them, guided them, and raised them with wisdom and mercy.

When we look at the Sunnah as a whole, we see the prophetic pattern in raising youth is built on role modelling, emotional safety, dialogue, gradual development, trust, gentle correction, encouragement, responsibility, dua, and balance.

Today, we face many challenges, especially in raising our young people. What we need is the prophetic model, in our homes, our families, and our communities.

We ask Allah Almighty to help us revive the Sunnah and to guide our youth with wisdom, mercy, and balance.

Based on the khutbah of Shaykh Haytham Tamim on 9th January 2026

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