Character Audit – improve yourself using the prophetic template

• Do people feel at ease around me, or tense?
• When I enter a room, do I lift or lower the mood?
• Am I difficult to deal with when tired, hungry, or stressed?
• Do people hesitate before approaching me?

2. Smiling and visibly happy

• Is my default facial expression open and welcoming?
• Do I smile naturally, not strategically?
• Do I reserve warmth only for people I like?
• When annoyed, does my face become harsh or closed?

3. Gentle and soft-natured

• Do I respond gently even when I disagree?
• Do my words soothe or escalate situations?
• Am I gentle with the weak, slow to open up, or socially awkward?
• Do I confuse gentleness with weakness?

4. Readily gave consent when appropriate

• Do I unnecessarily delay or complicate simple matters?
• Do I enjoy saying “no” to assert control?
• When something is halal and reasonable, do I facilitate it?
• Do people describe me as “difficult” or “easy to deal with”?

5. Never harsh or severe in speech

• Do my words cut when I’m angry?
• Do I justify harshness as “honesty”?
• Have people told me my tone hurts?
• Do I soften my words when correcting?

6. Did not raise his voice

• Do I raise my voice to win arguments?
• Do I speak louder when I feel unheard?
• Does my volume intimidate others?
• Can I stay calm even when provoked?

7. Free from rudeness and indecent language

• Do I swear casually or “jokingly”?
• Do I normalise crude humour?
• Would I speak the same way in front of children or elders?
• Does my language reflect self-control?

8. Did not search for faults

• Do I mentally catalogue people’s mistakes?
• Do I enjoy analysing others’ weaknesses?
• Do I feel relief when someone else fails?
• Am I more focused on fixing others than myself?

9. Avoided exposing people’s faults

• Do I share others’ mistakes unnecessarily?
• Do I justify exposure as “warning others”?
• Would I want my own faults treated the same way?
• Do I advise privately or expose publicly?

10. Avoided excessive praise

• Do I flatter to gain favour?
• Do I exaggerate praise to be liked?
• Do I feel uncomfortable when praise isn’t returned?
• Is my praise sincere and proportionate?

11. Moderate in humour

• Do my jokes ever embarrass others?
• Do I joke to avoid seriousness or responsibility?
• Do I joke excessively to gain attention?
• Are my jokes clean and respectful?

12. Avoided argumentation

• Do I argue to clarify or to win?
• Can I let go even when I’m right?
• Do debates leave people closer to me or drained?
• Do I enjoy intellectual dominance?

13. Avoided pride and arrogance

• Do I secretly feel superior to others?
• Do I struggle to apologise?
• Do I dismiss advice based on who gives it?
• Do I need to be recognised as “right”?

14. Avoided meaningless speech

• Do I talk just to fill silence?
• How much of my speech is gossip?
• Would I regret replaying my words later?
• Do my conversations have purpose?

15. Never disgraced or humiliated anyone

• Have my words ever publicly embarrassed someone?
• Do I correct people privately?
• Do I use sarcasm to belittle?
• Do I “teach lessons” through humiliation?

16. Never mocked or belittled others

• Do I laugh at people rather than with them?
• Do I imitate others mockingly?
• Do I dismiss people’s concerns as stupid?
• Do my jokes punch down?

17. Spoke only beneficial words

• Does my speech bring calm or chaos?
• Do people feel better after speaking to me?
• Do I spread negativity unnecessarily?
• Would my words weigh heavy or light on the Day of Judgement?

18. Inspired attentiveness

• When I speak, do people naturally listen?
• Do I speak with clarity and purpose?
• Do I ramble without direction?
• Do I prepare before important conversations?

19. Never interrupted others

• Do I interrupt to finish others’ sentences?
• Do I interrupt when excited or impatient?
• Can I wait my turn fully?
• Do I value being heard more than understanding?

20. Listened equally to everyone

• Do I listen differently based on status?
• Am I distracted when listening?
• Do I mentally prepare my response instead of listening?
• Do people feel genuinely heard by me?

21. Maintained orderly gatherings

• Do I contribute to calm or chaos in groups?
• Do I respect structure and turn-taking?
• Do I dominate conversations?
• Do I encourage quieter voices?

22. Shared joy appropriately

• Do I celebrate others’ happiness without jealousy?
• Can I laugh without excess?
• Do I dampen joy with cynicism?
• Am I emotionally present (i.e. do I listen with attention, respond with warmth and feel joy even when life is heavy) in happy moments?

23. Reciprocate others’ enthusiam

• Do I show interest in what excites others?
• Do I dismiss enthusiasm as childish?
• Do I engage even when it doesn’t interest me?
• Do I validate others’ emotions?

24. Remained approachable

• Do people hesitate to talk to me?
• Do I appear busy even when I’m not?
• Do I welcome interruptions kindly?
• Do people seek me for advice or avoid me?

25. Patience with harsh behaviour

• How do I react to rudeness?
• Do I escalate or de-escalate?
• Can I absorb offence without retaliation?
• Do I respond for Allah or my ego?

26. Patience with improper questions

• Do I shame people for asking “bad” questions?
• Do I answer gently even when questions are clumsy?
• Do I assume bad intent quickly?
• Do I educate or embarrass?

27. Tolerated rough manners of strangers

• Am I patient with cultural differences?
• Do I judge new people harshly?
• Do I expect everyone to “know better”?
• Do I remember I was once ignorant too?

28. Encouraged helping those in need

• Do I notice need or overlook it?
• Do I act or just feel sympathy?
• Do I encourage others to help too?
• Is my help discreet and sincere?

29. Accepted gratitude with humility

• Do I seek praise after helping?
• Do I feel offended if not thanked?
• Can I accept thanks quietly?
• Do I redirect praise to Allah?

30. Corrected excess gently or withdrew

• Do I correct with wisdom or anger?
• Do I know when to disengage?
• Do I embarrass people “for their own good”?
• Do I prioritise guidance over dominance?

Self-improvement using the prophetic template

All of us have blind spots, parts of our character we do not notice or tend to excuse. Often, the people closest to us see these flaws more clearly, because they experience our behaviour in everyday life. Usually, we dismiss their feedback and are defensive. However, it is only when we acknowledge that we have weaknesses that we can improve.

At the same time, we also have strengths. The goal is not to ignore the good in ourselves, but to recognise where we need to improve. Real growth only happens when we stop defending our weaknesses and start working on them.

In his famous book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Steve Covey wrote that that most people listen to reply, not to understand. Real influence, trust, and connection come when you genuinely listen first, without interrupting, judging, or preparing your counter-argument. The prophetic template goes much further than this.

The Prophet ﷺ listened deeply to others not as a strategy, but because every person mattered, regardless of status or behaviour. His influence came through consistent humility, patience, and trustworthiness. The prophetic model goes beyond technique, focusing on who we become rather than what we do, so winning hearts happens naturally. Above all, the Prophet ﷺ lived the Quran in his life.

What is Shamai’il?

Shamaʾil refers to the branch of Islamic knowledge that documents and studies the character, manners, habits, and personal qualities of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ.

Rather than focusing on legal rulings or theology, Shamaʾil is concerned with who the Prophet ﷺ was as a human being – how he spoke, smiled, listened, showed patience, expressed mercy, dealt with conflict, and interacted with family, companions, strangers, and even opponents.

Imam al-Tirmidhi was the first scholar to compile a dedicated book on the Shama’il of the Prophet ﷺ, titled al-Shama’il al-Muhammadiyyah. Although the book itself is short and concise, scholars later wrote very large commentaries on it, showing the depth of its content. The narrations about the Prophet’s character also exist across collections like Bukhari and Muslim, but they are scattered. Imam al-Tirmidhi gathered them into one focused work. Other major scholars, such as Imam al-Bayhaqi, also produced extensive writings on the Prophet’s character and life. For readers today, al-Shama’il and al-Shifa are good starting points, and both are available in English.

In essence, Shamaʾil answers the question:
What did it actually mean to live with the Prophet ﷺ and learn Islam through his character?

For this reason, studying Shamaʾil is not merely a historical account, it is our guide book on how to transform ourselves, shape our character, and improve our ethics, and behaviour in light of the prophetic example.